From Hope to Confidence: How to Build Resilience That Thrives on Challenges

Who is stronger? The man who has walked easily his entire life, or the man with no legs? The man who must pull himself by his arms?

This question was posed in the fantastic Brandon Sanderson series The Stormlight Archive. One characters tries to convince another that her dark past and countless challenges with mental instability has made her strong, not weak. It's all about how we perceive our adversity that shapes who we become.

Confidence Creates Hope

In my last article on cultivating hope, I shared Charles Snyder's three key elements:

1. Believing in dreams of a better future

2. Trusting your agency to make that future a reality

3. Seeing the multiple pathways towards that future

Today, I want to dive deeper into that crucial second element – our sense of agency – and explore what it takes to truly trust ourselves.

Building Agency Through Anti-Fragility

Agency isn't a trait we're born with – it develops through experience and grows stronger through challenges. But what if we could build a form of trust in ourselves that actually thrives on difficulties? This is where the concept of anti-fragile confidence comes in.

The Power of Anti-Fragility

In his book The Black Swan, Nassim Taleb describes the concept of anti-fragility – systems that don't just survive stress but grow stronger from it. This profound insight transforms how we can approach challenges in our own lives.

This wisdom aligns with Carol Dweck's research in Mindset. She describes two mindsets: the fixed mindset, where we believe our traits, positive or negative, are set in stone, and the growth mindset, where we see every challenge as an opportunity to learn and improve.

Grow Like Fire

We develop a deep sense of trust in ourselves when we learn and grow from our hardships. By embracing a growth mindset, we transform challenging experiences into sources of strength.

We become like a fire that grows stronger in the wind, rather than a candle flame that gets extinguished. Each setback becomes evidence of our resilience rather than proof of our limitations.

Your One Thing: C.A.R. Method for Building Confidence

Schedule 5 minutes to grow your anti-fragility - look at a recent challenge and apply the CAR method:

• Celebrate: Recognize what went well. Were you calm under pressure? Take bold action? Honor your values?

• Analyze: Without judgment, list areas for improvement. Perhaps clearer communication or more thorough planning?

• Recalibrate: Make a specific plan for next time. "The next time I run into that problem, instead of what I did last time, this time I will ."

Using the CAR method consistently transforms every experience into fuel for growth. When you trust that you can learn from anything, setbacks become stepping stones to success.

Remember: The stronger person is the one who has faced and overcome greater difficulties. Every time you apply CAR, you strengthen your anti-fragile confidence and your agency to create the future you want. This isn't just about surviving challenges – it's about turning those challenges into your fuel for growth, so that together we can build a better world, one micro step at a time.